HAN

Foto : Ilustrasi Ada seorang pemuda yang lama sekolah di negeri paman Sam kembali ke tanah air. Sesampainya dirumah ia meminta kepada orang tuanya untuk mencari seorang Guru agama, kiai atau siapapun yang bisa menjawab 3 pertanyaannya. Akhirnya Orang tua pemuda itu mendapatkan orang tersebut. Pemuda : Anda siapa? Dan apakah bisa menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya? Kyai : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab pertanyaan anda. Pemuda : Anda yakin? sedang Profesor dan banyak orang pintar saja tidak mampu menjawab pertanyaan saya. Kyai : Saya akan mencoba sejauh kemampuan saya. Pemuda : Saya punya 3 buah pertanyaan, 1. Kalau memang Tuhan itu ada, tunjukan wujud Tuhan kepada saya? 2.   Apakah yang dinamakan takdir itu? 3. Kalau setan diciptakan dari api, kenapa dimasukan ke neraka yang dibuat dari api, tentu tidak menyakitkan buat setan. Sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama. Apakah Tuhan tidak pernah berfikir sejauh itu? Ti...

Foto : Ilustrasi Seorang lelaki yang kebetulan seorang dokter muda, merasa sangat tidak enak dengan apa yang telah terjadi. Ia pulang ke rumah dengan raut wajah yang suntuk. Setibanya dirumah, ia merebahkan dirinya dikasur saat pikirannya kacau. Lalu ia mendengar suara di dalam kepalanya yang berkata padanya, "Sudahlah, nggak usah terlalu dipikirkan. Skandal dokter berhubungan intim dengan pasiennya terjadi di mana-mana. Jadi kamu nggak usah kuatir." Lelaki tersebut mencoba untuk setuju dengan gumamnya itu, lalu bergegas untuk tidur. Tapi.... Saat pagi tiba, terbayang kembali dan perasaan tidak enak muncul lagi dalam pikirannya. Ia membalikkan badan dan mendengar lagi suara di dalam kepalanya, "Nggak usah kuatir, orang sudah mulai terbiasa dengan skandal hubungan seksual antara dokter dan pasiennya." Foto : Ilustrasi Lelaki itu mulai rileks dan perasaannya berangsur-angsur membaik sambil meminum secangkir kopi hangat....

Foto : Ilustrasi Tersebutlah seorang Bapak yang marah marah kepada kepala sekolah karena ketahuan anaknya nyontek ulangan Budi saat ulangan sejarah... Bapak  : Apa buktinya anakku nyontek...bapak jangan sembarangan nuduh ya... Kepsek : Tenang Pak, mari kita liat jawaban mereka dulu.... pertanyaan pertama adalah sebutkan tanggal lahir R.A. Kartini.. Budi jawab 21 April....dan anak bapak jawab 21 April.... Bapak : Loh??? emang benar kan 21 April, bapak nih gimana? kok gitu dibilang nyontek?? Kepsek : pertanyaan kedua, sebutkan hari wafatnya Pangeran Diponegoro.. Budi jawab 23 April , anak bapak jawab 23 April... Bapak : Ya iya, emang 23 April kok...Bapak jangan main main yah...pokoknya saya tau anak saya ga bakalan nyontek.... Kepsek : Pertanyaan ketiga, sebutkan hari wafatnya Sultan Hasanuddin.. Budi jawab "gw ga tau", anak bapak jawab "apalagi gw!!" Bapak : ?#$?#?$!?!?!? Note : Ini hanya kumpulan cerpen untuk menghibur pemb...

Foto : Ilustrasi Dua orang konglomerat sedang ngobrol sambil ngopi disebuah Cafe. Konglomerat yang satu ngomong ama yang satunya... Konglomerat 1 : "Eh, kamu tau nggak sopir saya bodoh sekali....mau tahu? Sini kutunjukkan... Jono, ini duit seratus ribu, kamu pergi ke showroom mobil belikan saya sebuah Mercedez." Jono : "Siap laksanakan!" dan Jono langsung pergi menuju showroom. Konglomerat 1 : "Lihat kan, benar saya bilang supirku bodoh sekali" katanya pada konglomerat 2. Konglomerat 2 : "Ah.... itu belum apa-apa, kamu mau lihat sopirku? Lebih parah lagi bodohnya, Mau lihat ga?" Konglomerat 1 : "Mauuu..." Dan si konglomerat 2 memanggil supirnya si jojon.. Konglomerat 2 : "Jon, kamu pergi kerumah sekarang, terus kamu coba cek saya ada dirumah ngak?" Jojon : "Baik Pak. Siap laksanakan!" dan langsung pergi kerumah. Konglomerat 2 : "Lihat kan? bahkan otaknya ngak bisa miki...

Foto : Ilustrasi Ada 3 orang yang sedang mabuk-mabukan di sebuah kafe, mereka lalu taruhan siapa yang bisa menghina orang yang duduk di kursi paling belakang dan dia tidak marah maka dia yang akan menang. Orang yang duduk di kursi belakang itu adalah bekas juara gulat dan adu panco sedunia 10 kali berturut-turut... Si pemabuk pertama langsung maju menghampiri orang itu... " Hai heheheh!!!! muka-mu jelek sekali!!!"  *BRAAAAAAAAG!!!!* orang itu langsung meninju muka si pemabuk itu lalu terlempar sampai sejauh 10 meter. Si pemabuk kedua, " Hai otak udang!!!! Dasar dungu!!! Dasar........"  *JLAB JLAB!!!!!!* belum selesai kalimatnya si pemabuk itu, dia sudah terkapar dilantai akibat tamparan maut orang itu.... Tibalah saatnya si pemabuk yang ketiga... "Hai kamu!!!! Aku sudah sering meniduri ibumu!!!!!" Orang2 se-isi kafe sontak kaget... Apa yang kira2 akan terjadi pada si pemabuk yang ketiga ini? " Aku sudah...

Suatu hari, Fulan berpapasan dengan seorang gembala dengan kambingnya. Fulan bertanya dengan penasaran. Fulan : "Pak, boleh nanya nih?" Gembala : "Boleh" Fulan : "Kambing-kambing bapak sehat sekali,bapak kasih makan apa?" Gembala : "Yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?" Fulan : "Hmmmm... Yang hitam dulu deh...." Gembala : "Oh, kalo yang hitam, dia makannya rumput basah" Fulan : "Ohh... Kalo yang putih?" Gembala : "Yang putih juga..." Fulan : "Hmmm... Kambing-kambing ini, kuat jalan berapa kilo pak?" Gembala : "Yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?" Fulan : "Hmmmm Yang hitam dulu deh...." Gembala : "Oh, kalo yang hitam, 4 km sehari" Fulan : "Kalo yang putih?" Gembala : "Yang putih juga..." Fulan : "Kambing ini, menghasilkan banyak bulu ngga pak, pertahunnya?...

Foto : Ilustrasi Kisah yang sangat menyeramkan dan mengerikan ini terjadi pada seorang staff  laki-laki yang bekerja di lantai 12 Graha Elnusa Jl TB Simatupang Jak-Sel.  Pada kamis malam jumat beliau bekerja lembur dan terpaksa pulang agak larut malam sekitar jam 21:00 sendirian. Sampai di depan lift, dia pun tekan tombol untuk turun. Kemudian pintu lift terbuka tanpa ada siapa-siapa di dalamnya. Dia masuk dan menekan tombol 'B1' untuk menuju Basement. Tetapi entah kenapa lift ini bukannya turun melainkan terus naik ke atas. Lift berjalan terus hingga sampai ke lantai 16, berhenti dan terbuka. Ketika pintu lift terbuka, ada seorang wanita cantik jelita dan menawan tersenyum manis dan masuk ke lift. Si Staff laki-laki tersebut merasa heran.....  Karena dia merasa tidak pernah melihat perempuan tersebut selama dia bekerja di sana. Perempuan tersebut masuk dan berdiri di belakangnya. Sesaat kemudian tercium wangi bunga melati, maka diapun bertany...

Photo : Ilustration The hotel occupied by Sam is not a five star hotel. You could say the hotel is a one star hotel. It was evident from the condition of the hotel that is not so well maintained. Many rooms are closed because not worth wearing. But because the condition of the bathroom is still good and clean, Sam finally willing to occupy room number 9 is. Although it is worth noting the condition of his room has been seen very long and his bed was very old. Proven when Sam tried to lay his body on the bed, the sounds of 'Kriek-kriek'. Sam was forced to stay at this hotel because only this hotel was the only one in town where she had to cover the news. Jobs as a journalist he has since graduated from college. The night was getting late, but Sam had not slept. He is still cool with his laptop and occasionally see the shots in the camera. When Sam would close his laptop, there was a noise outside the hotel. Sam went immediately to the window to see what was going...

Photo : Ilustration One day, Fulan encountered a shepherd with a goat. Fulan asked in amazement. Fulan: "Sir, may I ask?" Shepherd: "Of course" Fulan: "Your goats are very healthy, what are you feeding?" Shepherd: "Whichever one is? The black or the white?" Fulan: "Hmmmm ... Maybe the Black one ..." Shepherd: "Oh, if its black, he ate it wet grass" Fulan: "Ohh ... if that's white?" Shepherd: "The whites also ..." Fulan: "Hmmm ... these goats,  how strong a mile is it?" Shepherd: "whichever one is? The black or the white?" Fulan: "Hmmmm The black one ..." Shepherd: "Oh, if its black, 4 km a day" Fulan: "What's white?" Shepherd: "The whites also ..." Fulan: "This goat earns a lot of hairs, annually?" (While holding back his frustration) Shepherd: "Whichever one is? The black or the white?...

Photo : Ilustration Two conglomerates were chatting while drinking at a Cafe. The one conglomerate talking the other one... Conglomerate 1: "Woy, you do not know my driver is stupid... want to know? Here I show... Jono, this hundred thousand dollars, you go to my car showroom buy me a Mercedez." Jono: "Ready to do it!" And Jono went straight to the showroom. Conglomerate 1: "See, right I say my driver is stupid" he told the conglomerate 2". Conglomerate 2: "Ah... that's okay, you want to see my driver? Worse yet stupid, Want to see no?" Conglomerate 1: "Wanna..." And the conglomerate 2 called his driver jojon... Conglomerate 2: "Jon, you go home now, just keep checking me at home no?" Jojon: "Well sir, ready to do!" And went straight home. Conglomerate 2: "See? Even his brain can not think if I will not be home, when I'm here!". Not long, the t...

Photo : Ilustration A man who happens to be a young doctor, feels very uncomfortable with what has happened. He came home with a full face. Upon arrival at home.  He lies down on the bed and his mind is screwed. Then he heard a voice in his head that said to him, " Do not worry about it, the doctor's scandal is having sex with his patients everywhere, so you do not have to worry." The man tried to agree with his murmur. But.... What had happened that morning had been reflected back and the uneasy feeling reappeared. He turned and heard another voice in his head, " Do not worry, people are getting used to the sexual relationship scandal between the doctor and his patient." The man began to relax and his feelings gradually improved ................ When suddenly another voice in his head said, "But the thing is you're a vet ..." Next think for yourself what the doctor thinks hehe ... Note: Do not take it...

Photo : Ilustration There are 3 people drinking in a cafe, they then bet who can insult the person sitting in the back seat and he is not angry then he who wins. The person sitting in the back seat is a former wrestling champion and world panco contest 10 times in a row ... The first drunkard then went straight to the guy ... " Hi heheheh !!!! Your face is ugly! "  *BRAAAAAAAAG!!!! the man immediately punches the drunk's face and thrown up to 10 meters. The second drunk, " Hi brain shrimp !!!! Dumbass!!! Basic ......." *JLAB JLAB!!!!!  Blum finished sentence the drunkard was already lying on the floor Due to the slap of the man's death. It was time for the third drunkard, " Hi you!!!! I've been screwing your mother a lot!!!!" The people of the cafe were suddenly shocked.. What would happen to this third drunkard???? "I'm satisfied to have slept with your mother!!!!!!" Said the drunkard ...

Photo : Ilustration This horrible and terrible story happened to a male staff working on the 12th floor of Graha Elnusa Jl TB Simatupang Jakarta-Selatan. On Friday night he worked late and was forced to return home late at around 21:00 alone. Up in front of the elevator, he press the button to go down. Then the elevator door opened without anyone in it. He entered and pressed the 'B1' button to go to Basement.  But for some reason this elevator instead of going down but continue to go up. The elevator runs until it reaches the 16th floor, stops and opens. When the elevator doors open, there is a beautiful and charming woman smiling sweetly and into the elevator. The male staff was astonished..... because he felt he had never seen the woman while he worked there. The woman came in and stood behind her. A moment later smelled of jasmine flowers, then he also wondered in the heart. 'who is the woman, and why is this night has not returned to hi...

Foto : Ilustrasi There was a young man who was old school in the land of uncle Sam back to homeland. When he got home he asked his parents to find a religious teacher, Kyai or anyone who can answer 3 questions. Finally the young man's parents got the man. Youth : " Who are you? And is it possible to answer my questions?" Kyai : "I am a servant of God and by His permission I will answer your question." Youth : "Are you sure? While Professor and many smart people just can not answer my question." Kyai : "I will try as far as I can." Youth : "I have 3 questions, If indeed God exists, show me the form of God. What is fate? If the devil is created from fire, why put it into hell made from fire, certainly not painful for the devil. Because they have the same element. Has God never thought so far?" Suddenly the Kyai slapped him hard on the cheek. Youth : "Why are you angry with me?...